


please see me reaching out for someone i can't see

by spreadthighs



Category: Day6 (Band), Youtube RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 09:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5243579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spreadthighs/pseuds/spreadthighs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>brian wants to go back to canada. it's home, he says. home is where the heart is, and brian's heart is with terry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	please see me reaching out for someone i can't see

brian finds himself unable to sleep tonight, for some reason. one of those nights where he can't clear his mind, one of those nights where something still lingers, keeping him up even though the lights have been switched off hours ago, and it isn't as if it's far too hot in the room and his clothes cling to him like a second skin. one of those nights where he feels like his bed isn't quite his bed and he doesn't belong here, and the inexplicable urge to go back to toronto hits him in waves. go back to canada, where everyone else he loves are right there where he left them behind, see them and hold them again.

he flings an arm out, groping in the dark for his mobile phone and grunts, peering blearily at the screen as it lights up.

 _four twenty-two am_. fucking four am thoughts, and ninety more minutes before it'll be time for him to get ready for his eight am class. the pain of university. brian drops his phone just above his pillow and unexpectedly, the screen lights up on its own.

_terbear: the week is almost over how are you hanging in there BK_

his fingers move like clockwork, he cranks up the volume and presses his earphones in so that they're snug in his ears. his heart beats slow, the connecting tone goes on.

'burger king?'

 _terry_.

'i miss you', brian murmurs. his heart beats again. the flow of time returns to normal. 'miss home', he breathes out, stretching under the duvet.

terry laughs. it's warm, but it feels like a stab in brian's heart. 'hey. i miss you too', he says, leaning closer. 'come to toronto. you can crash with me. and you can bring your band. they can take the sofa.'

brian snorts. 'where would i sleep then, the floor?'

'nah', terry says. his lips quirk upwards and there it is, that smirk that on any other person would be absolutely infuriating. but on terry it makes brian's stomach flip, makes him breathless. 'you can share my bed.'

brian feels his cheeks flush, and he's pretty sure terry can see it too even with the awful lighting he has under the duvet coming from his phone's screen. 'we'll probably be there for a concert. hotel and everything.'

'sneak away for a bit', terry says, eyes knowing. 'i'll pick you up if you want.'

brian doesn't have a reply for this, except for the _i do_ that he nearly utters. so instead he sticks out his lower lip in some semblance of a pout, knowing that it gets to terry.

thing is, it's on nights like this where suddenly nothing feels right any more. chasing his dreams in korea, having all this with day6 suddenly feels so small in comparison to what he can't have — brian just wants to head over to terry's, to be with him, to curl up under the duvet sprawled out against him instead of being here, just before daybreak with a head full of uncertainty and a heart full of something he cannot express. he's more than a thousand miles away from terry, and the magic from those few days he manages to spend with him each time he goes back home never lasts long enough to soothe the ache inside him.

someone knocks against terry and he turns, distracted. crumbs fall on his navy blue jumper and he brushes them away, looking up.

it's a girl, and she's carrying a sandwich and some textbooks. 'sorry', she says and terry flashes her a grin, saying that it's okay, don't worry about it. and it's only now that brian realises that canada's... twelve? fourteen? hours behind korea? there are people moving behind terry, terry is probably at school?

and brian panics as he does the maths in his head. 'wait, shouldn't you be in class now? it's... two? in the afternoon? what are you-'

'it's okay', terry says, waving a hand in front of the camera. 'i've graduated already, july, remember?'

brian opens his mouth to say something, but the words are stuck in his throat and of course, he's still in university while everyone else back home has moved on already and are at the end of the road about to move on to the next stage in life and, _and_ -

'brian?'

'i', brian begins. stops. swallows hard. 'i.'

'hey. _heeeeey_ ', terry says. ' _young-k ah_.'

brian narrows his eyes, squinting at him and terry laughs.

'meet you at the top, remember? you debuted. finally.' then there's that look on terry's face that he gets whenever he's about to say something hilarious and mildly embarrassing and brian _should_ probably brace for impact, but still. 'what do your fans call themselves, burger king employees?'

'i hate you', brian says, but there's no heat in his voice.

'go to sleep', terry says, voice soft.

'can't. eight am class.'

'don't hang up then', terry says. 'i'll wake you at six.'

'your time or mine', brian murmurs, voice slurred with fatigue.

'mine if you want to miss class.'

brian makes a displeased sort of noise.

'thought so.' terry grins. 'yours then.' he reaches for his latte, take a long drink as the feed from brian's end jerks away abruptly, before turning into a black mess on his screen. 'brian?'

the only reply he gets is a soft sigh, a sure sign that brian has slipped into slumber. terry smiles, expression softening. 'love you', he murmurs, before clicking restore down and continuing the email he had been working on previously.

brian's still awake, just barely. he smiles, face buried in his pillow as he drifts off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> if you haven't already, go listen to [brian's cover of lost stars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsvFfL0HTY8).


End file.
